You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
