They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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