i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
