I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize