I need help removing her.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
