when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize