How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
