I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
