where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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