there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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