Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
