And the cops told us we were all naked.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
