I have demons in me.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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