I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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