another moral hangover. fuck.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The Olympian is in my bed
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize