I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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