If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
