my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
