Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
