But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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