Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
