so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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