party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
