Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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