is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
