ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Randomize