Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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