like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
