I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize