I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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