you guys were way drunker than both of me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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