oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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