You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
