So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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