I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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