I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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