Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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