Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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