We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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