the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
