I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
