sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
