No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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