So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
