Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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