Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize