she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
