I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
