Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize