Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
