next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
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I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
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Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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