you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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