Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
