twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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