I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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