me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
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I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
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Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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