Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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