weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
