That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
