so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
