Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
my poor anus
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
