no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
