He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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