Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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