Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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