Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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