You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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