pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
