Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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